Crash Diets

Do you diet like a sumo wrestler?

I was reading an article online yesterday about weight loss and the crazy crash diets that people go on to try and achieve an instantly svelte body before swim suit season, their high school reunions, or their weddings.

It makes me wonder where these people have the willpower to starve and deprive themselves of all types of foods (carbohydrates for example), when they could easily commit to a healthy balanced diet, with a weekly cheat day. I admit, I could never starve myself or limit myself to just one type of food (via the soup diet, the grapefruit diet or the protein diet just to name a few) – that’s just too painful and much less effective in the long run.

That’s why I’ve decided to dedicate this week’s Stupid Fitness Idea of the Week to the foolish yet always entertaining topic of crash dieting, by comparing the effects of a crash diet to training for a sport where athletes actually try to put on as much body fat as humanly possible – sumo wrestling!

These are the general rules of a sumo wrestler’s diet and training regime – you tell me if they sound familiar to crash diets:

1. Never eat breakfast - Skipping meals, especially breakfast, deprives the sumo’s body of food after an 8-hour fast (sleep), so his metabolism will stay extremely low throughout the entire day and he’ll store almost all of the food he eats as fat.
2. Eat one meal a day - Eating one giant meal is inevitable because the sumo is starved to the point of madness after not eating breakfast. This results in one giant meal of anything that’s easy to get into the hatch and down the gullet – and fast! This is commonly called “binging.” It occurs because the sumo’s body is in starvation mode from being deprived all day long, so it craves food to the point of no control. Plus any food consumed will be stored as fat in case the sumo wrestler decides not to eat again for a while.
3. Only perform exercise on an empty stomach - Again exercising with no food in the sumo’s body slows his metabolic rate right down, so his body will go into high alert and store any existing energy as fat storage – rather then burning it off during exercise.
4. Sleep right after eating -This is inevitable because his body is naturally exhausted after a period of starvation. When the sumo sleeps right after eating a huge meal, his insulin levels are really high and his body will store that energy as fat instead of turning it into muscle or usable energy.

Conclusion

I don’t know about you, but I think the behavior of the crash dieter and the sumo wrestler are one in the same – but with very different goals. Enough picking on the poor sumo wrestlers, at least they know how to achieve their body weight goals.

For the rest of us who are trying to lose weight in this manner, it’s time to get over the word “diet.” I’ve got news for you - if you eat food, you’re on a diet. However for some wild reason the word “diet” has come to connote a sense of deprivation, starvation, calorie cutting and no-chocolate-candy-salty-sugary-joy-for-the-rest-of-my-entire-existence. It’s really unfortunate that the word diet has come to mean routine, bland, boring, regimented eating.

I can tell you as a person on a pretty strict food plan, I don’t eat ice cream every night after dinner, and my lunches don’t include take out burgers and fries – however my meals are hardly boring. I’ve had to get creative yes, but if your health is important to you, you’ll make the time. When I don’t have the time, I’ve been known to eat take out, but I opt for pitas, wraps and salads stuffed with lean protein and fresh veggies…I’ve even been known to eat the odd cup of frozen yogurt now and then (I know I’m a crazy woman). I also include a cheat day in my weekly diet plan.

Every Saturday I permit myself to eat whatever I want for an entire day. If I want pancakes for breakfast – I eat them with maple syrup. If I want ice cream for lunch – I eat mint chocolate chip (my favorite). If I want a giant bowl of cheese ravioli for dinner – you better believe I eat it with thick slices of French bread. However, I find after this one glorious day, I’m left with nothing but an upset stomach. Getting off the healthy wagon for one whole day reminds me of why I’m on it in the first place. It reminds me of how I felt when I ate poorly all the time, and how much better I feel now that I consume healthy foods. I want to behave for the entire week after having a cheat day, just knowing how my body feels sluggish, bloated, drowsy and lazy after eating unhealthy foods.

Allowing yourself a cheat day is necessary, because it gives us control of our eating habits. Believe me when I say that the person in the cubicle beside you scarffing down French Fries and chicken wings with a chaser of Jelly Bellies isn’t in control of their diet. Sure they look like they can eat whatever they want, but in reality they have no power over their eating habits. I cheat on my healthy diet once a week because I’m in control of my diet the rest of the time, and I deserve a piece of pecan pie just as much as the rest of you!